Gina Thorne: Hi everyone, welcome to the Harmony Foundation video podcast series. I’m pleased today to be joined with Jordan Leffel with Equinox Counseling. It’s good to have you here today. Continue reading “Equinox Counseling & Wellness Center”
by Khara Croswaite Brindle
What does it mean to feel connection with another person? How do you know when you are building rapport in your interactions with others? For many of us, connection starts with body language and conversation when determining relatability and ongoing engagement. Engagement can lead to belongingness and belongingness is a crucial element of positive mental health and overall wellness. So why wouldn’t we want to pursue belongingness and connection in our relationships and throughout our lives in support of optimal wellbeing?
Monkey See Monkey Do
Connection can be measured externally in how we interact with one another, but also internally through brain activity. Mimicking one another, often described as mirroring, was first discovered by Giacomo Rizzolatti, MD and his colleagues when studying monkeys. Rizzolatti recognized that there was similar, observable brain activity indicating pleasure when a monkey consumed a banana as when the monkey observed a researcher consuming a banana. This brain activity involving neurons, called Mirror Neurons, provided implications that our brain activity responds in relation to others, thus encouraging development of an empathetic response. A more recent article was published in the UK on research involving infants and their mothers. With eye contact, the brain waves in the infant responded and attempted to synchronize with their mother, implying efforts at deeper connection and communication, according to scientists at the University of Cambridge.
Bonding in Business
Mirror neurons are important for close relationships; however, they can be influential in working relationships as well. Business gurus have developed interpersonal programs to support connection and reciprocity in business interactions, including awareness of body language, eye contact, and mannerisms. These programs can teach a person to be more aware of cues in social interactions and introduce subtle mirroring behaviors to increase engagement, likeability, and reciprocity.
Mirroring behavior in conversations is adaptive, such as noticing when one party begins to unconsciously mimic the other in their posture, speech, and/or gestures during an interaction. As you can see from the picture we’ve chosen above, several members of the group are mirroring one another in their hand gestures, indicating connection or attempted connection in the moment. When learning these interpersonal skills for yourself, you may experiment with subtly shifting your posture to mimic the other party, exploring any observable differences in the interaction, including how you each feel towards one another. Mirroring research shows that when you make subtle attempts to mirror another person, they will find you more approachable, likeable, and connected, all which can be valuable when conducting working interactions or achieving rapport.
Generational Gaps
Engagement in working and personal relationships can support successful interactions, and it can also change how a person feels about themselves, including shifts in self-confidence and self-worth. Jean Twenge, a Psychologist researching generational differences including mental health, substance use, technology, and social engagement, speaks of this in depth in her book iGen. Her book highlights the dramatic shift in social interaction away from face to face contact to more technology-based connection. Her book also highlights a possible correlation between technology and lack of belongingness, even when those surveyed reported, on average, more than three hours per day of technology use including social media. Twenge’s research identifies some concerns about connection, including individuals reporting minimal person to person engagement, low self-confidence or preparedness in social situations, and thus identifies questions needing to be answered around technology and mental health.
Regardless of how we measure it, connection is important. One way of encouraging connection is getting out in the world and finding people who have things in common. This can be a pleasant opportunity to engage over shared interests and build relationships. Identifying activities you enjoy can be a starting point to engaging others around shared interests, with organizations like Meetup.com bringing groups of people together around enjoyable experiences. Pushing yourself to get out and meet people can have a positive result, as belongingness and social interaction continue to be vital parts of what it means to be human.
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” Brene Brown
Khara Croswaite Brindle, MA, LPC, ACS, is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the Lowry Neighborhood of Denver, Colorado. She received her Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology from the University of Denver with a focus on community based mental health. Khara has experience working with at-risk youth and families, including collaboration with detention, probation, and the Department of Human Services. Khara enjoys working with young adults experiencing anxiety, depression, trauma, relational conflict, self-esteem challenges, and life transitions.
Gina Thorne: Hi everyone, welcome to the Harmony Foundation podcast series. I’m pleased today to be joined with Luca Pax and Sorin Thomas with Queer Asterisk, out of Boulder, Colorado. Welcome.
Sorin Thomas: Thank you.
Luca Pax: Welcome, thanks for having us.
Gina Thorne: It’s really good to have you here. Before we get into specifics around Queer Asterisk, lets talk a little bit about what got you into the field of addiction treatment, Sorin?
Sorin Thomas: So let’s see, I grew up in Europe where there was a very different culture around drinking, and started drinking young. So, before I had come to the States I was already sober at 17 years old. It was just I think right time, right place so that played into it for sure. But I got to the University of Notre Dame, and the first person I met and really felt a mentorship vibe with was the Director of Alcohol and Drug Treatment Center. So I became a peer mentor, and just got more and more involved, and did that for years. So I started at the University of Notre Dame and I continued to peer mentorship program at Naropa University. Then I went on to do my [kak 00:01:12] classes and get my LAC.
Gina Thorne: Is there something that you feel pulled to in working with people with addiction, and helping them with their recovery?
Sorin Thomas: You know I think that what draws me the most, and now I’m realizing this more as I understand my queer and trans identity. I think the pull is the misunderstood community. I really resonant with the stigma of what addicts have to deal with, it’s similar to mental health and it’s similar to prejudice that marginalized groups deal with.
Gina Thorne: That seems very appropriate. Seems very appropriate.
Sorin Thomas: Yeah.
Gina Thorne: So Luca, Queer Asterisk is a therapeutic program and it provides services to LGBTQPIA, can you describe the type of services you offer and what a client would expect when they come to your program?
Luca Pax: Yeah, so … Yeah you know we have a lot of different ways to get involved with Queer Asterisk, so one thing we’re most known for is our team of, right now it’s six, queer and trans identified therapists who work with individuals or couples, or families. Also, run group sometimes. So that’s the clinical side of things, and with that we have also added a peer mentorship program. So that’s more affordable, either supplement or alternative to folks who are looking for therapy. Our peer mentors have all sorts of different specialties and interests, so it can be really tailored for folks who are looking for a companion or a buddy to go into the world with, or to talk through things with in a more friendly and supportive way.
Luca Pax: Then we have our programming, so it’s all either low cost or donation based groups that happen every week, or twice a month. We have a group called The Queer Conversation, where folks are able to talk about anything related to queerness, or their experience with that. We have a writing group, we have different workshops that happen periodically, everything from an herbalism workshop, to acupuncture. We have folks who are working with … We had a creating style group where folks were doing fashion design. So it’s really broad and open to what members of the community are wanting to see happen, and how they’re wanting to share their skill sets, or passions. We have lots of different community partnerships. So a lot of our events are in relation with other organizations.
Luca Pax: We do queer nights, we had one at Frequent Flyers Aerial Dance, we had one at Buffalo Exchange Clothing store. So again, really focusing on therapeutic ways that we can be in community with each other and really they tend to have like a pretty celebratory theme of not just the sort of resilience. But really what does it look like to thrive as queer and trans people, and do that in community with each other, and supporting each other. Yeah, so those are some of the main avenues of getting connected.
Luca Pax: As far as what people would expect by seeing from our staff, Sorin can speak more to the clinical side. But a lot of our facilitators have a mindfulness approach to holding spaces. So sometimes that looks like being comfortable with discomfort. Holding some pauses, there’s a slightly different feel than a lot of support groups. We don’t segregate based on gender identity or expression. So we get a lot of people in spaces who may have really different experiences of what it means to be queer and or trans. But it ends up being a really unique space where we’re able to connect in a lot of, sometimes, unexpected ways. To acknowledge how many tensions and differences there are within our community. But to be more yeah, more committed to leaning into that instead of just parceling ourselves into smaller and smaller groups.
Gina Thorne: Also, you know going back to what you said Sorin, is also looking at how do you help people understand? How do you help create a safe space? How do you address the stigma that often comes along with that? So it sounds like you all are creating something that’s responding to those issues.
Sorin Thomas: Yeah we do that and we also do it with our community partnerships. That’s why the educational branch of what we do is so important, when we look at the whole of all the aspects of what we do. So that’s going into there, so many organizations who are realizing that they would benefit from a little bit more comfortability with inclusivity and diversity. So then they reach out to organizations like ours and say, hey could you give an all staff training? Or could you look at our materials and make sure that our languaging is inclusive? We really want to have our whole organization behind this, and be able to hold queer and trans clients the way that we hold our other clients. We’re missing some skills.
Gina Thorne: You all are definitely creating a very unique service that is much needed for sure. So I’m going to ask both of you this question because it’s not just about learning about Queer Asterisk, it’s about learning about the people behind it. So we’re going to ask a little bit about your thoughts around this idea, and I’ll start with you first Luca. If you could have a giant billboard anywhere, with anything on it, metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions, what would it say? And why?
Luca Pax: First thing that comes is just a simple statement for anyone, ’cause I believe it applies to anyone. You are valid and you are worthy. I think that for so many people, with so many different identities, within and without of queer communities, that is something that’s incredibly lost in many societies. But I’m speaking specifically to a dominant society here in the US. Like really that’s seems like kind of about the core of a lot of what I care about is this like, sometimes radical notion that we are actually all worthy of love and respect. In light of all of our different experiences of the world and ourselves. Yeah.
Gina Thorne: I really like that, a lot. Let me steal that, I really like that.
Luca Pax: It’s free.
Gina Thorne: It’s true. How about you Sorin?
Sorin Thomas: Yeah, I would say to go off of that I think I would probably say something along the lines of, claim your gifts please, the world needs you. I truly believe, and it’s a value at our organization that everyone has inherent, innate gifts. Sometimes we can get so distracted, especially marginalized people by surviving in this world and fitting in. Proving our worth and our value, that we forget that we also have something to give. So that’s part of, like that’s a huge reason why this organization started with queer and trans folks. Looking around there are enough of us who are professionals, who are capable and competent to bring our gifts to the world. We don’t need to rely on allies. Allies are wonderful, but there was so much gate keeping that was happening and it just perpetuates the sense that queer and trans people are less than. We need to go SIS straight people for our psycho therapy, for our medical examines, yeah.
Gina Thorne: It’s great, I love the messages. Those are significant, I think they’re the best ones I’ve heard so far. Best ones I’ve heard so far. So Sorin playing off the idea of word harmony, what do you think it means to live in harmony?
Sorin Thomas: Yeah, for me when I think of harmony I think of balance and alignment of course. I also think immediately, I mean in this environment that we’re in right now, balance in ourselves, in our relationships, and also our relationships with the non human world. What is it like for humans to truly live, tread lightly and live in harmony with the rest of the beings around us. Then intra personally I think of having a balance of these are things that I’m working on. Things that I can always do better, and then also saying at a certain point, it’s good enough. I also have these gifts, yeah.
Gina Thorne: Like it.
Sorin Thomas: So not going too far into the light, or too far into the dark.
Gina Thorne: Yeah.
Luca Pax: It really makes me think of integrity too, and when we’re looking at the journey of a queer and trans person like, really what does it mean to live in integrity with who you are? What does it mean to have that alignment seen as valid and real? Like have that be reflected in your communities and in your families. Just so much possibility is grown from that place of getting to be in harmony with one’s self, and with one’s purpose and gifts. Yeah, and to have that be supported.
Gina Thorne: Having that tribe of people.
Luca Pax: Yeah true.
Gina Thorne: I agree, makes sense. Makes a lot of sense.
Luca Pax: Yeah community.
Gina Thorne: Yup, so Luca if someone wanted to access services at Queer Asterisk how could they get in touch with you?
Luca Pax: Yeah, so have a website, which is www.queerasterisk.com and that’s A-S-T-E-R-I-S-K, like the punctuation. We have Facebook, which is Facebook.com/queerasterisk. You can also follow us on Instagram, but to reach our clinical director who’s Sorin, you can email info I-N-F-O @queerasterisk.com to get in touch with a therapist. With whom you can do a free 20 minute consultation. Or you can call us anytime at 720-507-6161
Gina Thorne: Outstanding. Well it was a pleasure to have both of you here today at Harmony.
Luca Pax: Thanks so much Gina.
Gina Thorne: Really great.
Sorin Thomas: Yeah, thank you.
Visit them at: www.queerasterisk.com
Spirituality is the calling to look more deeply into our lives – into ourselves, our relationships, our communities, and our relationships with the ecological and universal realms. As the Dalai Lama has said many times, “All beings want happiness and freedom from suffering.” We all want to love, be loved, feel peace, be creative, feel connected, and feel fulfilled with our lives. Treading the labyrinth of humanity’s misguided attempts toward achieving these deeper desires leads us down disastrous roads, dead ends, and into pits of confusion and despair. For a while, tasty foods, expensive material items, and prideful accomplishments can trigger the pleasurable neurotransmitters in our brains. Working much like a drug or alcohol, the external stimuli lose their power and we develop dependence and tolerance, needing more and more to get our happiness high. Finally, we are left strung out and unhappier than we were in the beginning. On the path of recovery, we bring spirituality into our lives to help us reconnect in a more sustainable and healthy way – a way that fills our core with contented pleasure and without as much dependence on things outside of ourselves. A quiet walk, taking time to chop the vegetables with precision, prayer, meditation, snuggling with our pets, gazing into the eyes of our loves ones, singing, painting, self-help workshops, religion, planting vegetables, reading, eating slowly and tasting every bite, fellowship, listening to soothing music, and donating time and resources for another’s benefit – these are common examples of how healthy people let go of their frantic pursuits of the insatiable highs and slow down to appreciate this fragile, fleeting, yet incredibly wonderful human life. Take a moment for spiritualty today. Breathe and appreciate this body, this life. Smell the roses – they are all around us if we can learn to see them.
Stop and Smell the Roses; Psychology Today – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201710/stop-and-smell-the-roses
Identify Your True Source of Happiness; Chopra – https://chopra.com/free-programs/awaken-to-happiness/week-1-identify-your-true-source-of-happiness
11 Ways to Appreciate Your Life a Little More; Mind Body Green – https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16408/11-ways-to-appreciate-your-life-a-little-more.html
Mike Lewis is a Spiritual Advisor and Detox Counselor at Harmony Foundation
Mike Lewis Bio
Gina Thorne: Hi everyone. Welcome to the Harmony Foundation Podcast Series and I’m pleased today to be joined with Chailey Coyle with Reflections Recovery Center out of Prescott, Arizona. Welcome.
Chailey: Thank you. It’s so great to be here.
Gina Thorne: Yeah. Well, we’ve had a great time today in learning about your program and we want to share that program with others. Before we get into the details about Reflections, let’s learn a little bit about you. What brought you into the field of addiction treatment?
Chailey: I actually am a recovering addict alcoholic. I have been sober. I will be celebrating, God willing, six years this year May 7. When I got sober, I knew that I wanted to help other people that were struggling from what I struggled with and I just knew that there were so many good programs out there. To be able to work in this field has just been such a blessing.
Gina Thorne: Yeah. Well, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. You sound like you’ve got the great passion of recovery behind you which is great.
Chailey: Well, thank you.
Gina Thorne: You have this amazing program that works with men only. It’s not just men under 35. It sounds like you can treat men across the entire age spectrum. Can you describe a little bit about the program and what people would come to expect if they came there.
Chailey: Yeah. Reflections is a four month extended care program with an option to do our alumni afterwards, which kind of just gives them a little bit of an extra padding of accountability. They can come back for after care counseling. All of that. During that first four months, they’re going to get the highest level of care for the first month. They’re going to be doing two group therapy sessions a day, meeting with their individual counselor once to two times a week depending on if they opt to do trauma therapy. We do have an EMDR trauma therapist and a somatic experienced therapist on staff, which is super awesome. Some people start it right away. Some wait a little bit.
Chailey: After that first month, they come into sort of a lower level of care. They’re still doing one group a day, meeting with their therapist once a week still. Still meeting with our psychiatrist on board to tackle any co-occurring disorders that may be going on. This is where they’ll be able to start getting integrated back into the community. They will look for a job. They will start to participate in a lot of our activities that we do to promote unity. Lots of hiking, camping. They go to basketball games, NFL games. That kind of stuff.
Chailey: Really, our goal is by the end of four months we want to step them down to where they’re ready to be acclimated completely back into the community with a solid support, 12 step recovery and therapy.
Gina Thorne: That’s great. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity for people who are moving through the recovery continuum.
Gina Thorne: We’re going to shift gears a little bit and learn a little bit about you specifically. What is the book or books you’ve given most as a gift and why?
Chailey: I’ve actually given a Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. Have you heard of that book?
Gina Thorne: I do. Yeah.
Chailey: I’ve given that to almost every single person in my family.
Gina Thorne: What’s that about? Why do you do that?
Chailey: A Return to Love is how I actually came to really find my spirituality. When I got sober and I worked a 12 step program, I was introduced to the concept of a higher power and God. I didn’t really know what I believed in before. The 12 step program really propelled me into starting a spiritual journey. Then, reading A Return to Love just solidified everything for me. Really, it’s about love essentially being a higher power and everything being based out of love or fear and how to choose love in your life rather than fear. I’ve lent my book to clients that we have. I’ve, like I said, gotten it for my family members. It’s just an awesome, awesome book.
Gina Thorne: Marianne Williamson is so well-known. She does A Course of Miracles as well. So, yeah.
Chailey: This is based off of A Course in Miracles.
Gina Thorne: Miracles. Is it?
Chailey: Yeah.
Gina Thorne: That’s great. Great book. Great recommendation. Playing off the idea of the word harmony. What does that mean to you?
Chailey: The first thing that came to my mind was balance. I think about harmony, and I think about how in order to be a happy individual, and live a happy life, and be filled, and have purpose, I think about balance. That’s what harmony means to me. We’ve got to have balance in our work life. We have to have balance in our spirituality, whatever that might look like, with our friends, with our family. I think when we achieve that balance, that’s when we have harmony.
Gina Thorne: I love it. That’s a great answer. If someone were trying to access services at Reflections, how could they get in touch with you?
Chailey: They can reach our website by going to www.reflectionsrehab.com and then they can contact me directly. My phone number is 928-277-3465.
Gina Thorne: Great. It’s so nice to meet you Chailey. Thank you so much for coming to Harmony and to Colorado and we look forward to working with you.
Chailey: Thank you so much for having me.
Gina Thorne: Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Harmony Foundation Podcast Series, and I’m pleased today be joined with Brittany Dekoch?
Brittany DeKoch: Decook.
Gina Thorne: Decook? Nice to have you here, with Highlands Behavioral Health. We also have Claire here who’s the Director of Intake, but she says she’s not going to speak very much today.
Claire: It’s [inaudible 00:00:15]
Gina Thorne: She’s going to keep herself kind of quiet. I have a feeling we’re going to get something out of you today. Both are representing Highlands Behavioral Health System, and it’s really great to have you both here today. Before we get into talking about Highlands, let’s talk for a few minutes about your backgrounds and how you got into the field of behavioral health.
Brittany DeKoch: Absolutely. This is Brittany. I think even from a very early age I spent a lot of time trying to make sense of the world around me and I’ve always been very fascinated in human behavior and why we do the things that we do. I think that it goes … it’s sort of not a surprise that then when I went to college, my degree is in psychology, and I went on to get my master’s in counseling. Before I moved to Colorado, my background’s in youth homeless and runaway services. I did a lot of therapy with those individuals and their families. I’ve also worked in community mental health, and then most recently I’ve been a crisis assessment clinician in the emergency room.
Brittany DeKoch: Stepping into my role as a community liaison for Highlands … obviously, no longer in direct care … but I really welcomed the new opportunity to serve as an advocate for the behavioral health community and to be able to connect people to treatment.
Gina Thorne: Mm-hmm (affirmative). And it’s important because so many people are struggling with finding the right resources.
Brittany DeKoch: Absolutely.
Gina Thorne: Having the right person who’s compassionate and empathetic is vital.
Brittany DeKoch: Yeah.
Gina Thorne: Yeah. Highlands Behavioral is an 86 bed psychiatric hospital and it treats adolescents and adults. On your website, you talk about this concept called the Navigation Passport. Can you describe what that means to patients coming to highlands?
Brittany DeKoch: Yeah. What I think is unique to Highlands is our Navigation Passport because it was developed by our clinical team. It really serves as not only a guide, a journal, a resource, but it helps the individual while they’re in the hospital, sort of check in, to know what’s going to happen next. But it also serves as a record outside of the hospital so that someone can take this tool back to their primary care provider or their outpatient therapist and say this is what my treatment was like at Highlands. These were some of the goals I was working on. To continue that therapeutic process and set them up for success outside of the hospital.
Gina Thorne: Mm-hmm (affirmative). And it’s great because we need more of those types of services to provide that sort of warm transfer so that clients can find the next level of care.
Brittany DeKoch: Right. I think that some feedback that we get in the community is that a lot of individuals have disjointed services or services all over the place, and so the Navigation Passport serves as this connector for an individual, and especially an individual that’s been in crisis. It can be hard to keep all that information at the forefront of your mind [crosstalk 00:03:04].
Gina Thorne: I think it’s for anybody, but especially for people in crisis. I know I struggle with that for sure.
Brittany DeKoch: Yeah. I like to call it a planner.
Gina Thorne: That’s a great way to-
Brittany DeKoch: A counseling planning.
Gina Thorne: Yes. It’s great. Well, I’m going to actually turn over here to Claire for a second and ask you a question.
Claire: Certainly.
Gina Thorne: You are the Director of Intake. What are some of the most common issues that you’re seeing who are coming into Highlands? What are some of the people’s struggles and what are you … what’s more readily available or seen in your calls that are coming in?
Claire: Excellent question. In psychology and psychiatry, it remains diverse. We see anything from acute suicidal, the depression is extreme. We also see … there seems to be an uptick in psychosis, mood instability, mood disorder. So it’s hard to answer the question. It’s just the full gamut. We also are seeing more and more people presenting with what we would call co-occurring phenomena with dual substance abuse and underlying psychiatric concerns and symptoms. I don’t know how else to answer that.
Gina Thorne: I think it’s great. It’s true, because we’re seeing a lot of the co-occurring coming in more regularly here at Harmony, as well, and in cases where we can’t treat the higher acuity mental health, that’s why we love to work with Highlands, because we treat addiction as primary and we recognize that both the co-occurring, the mental health and the addiction, often go hand in hand. But when you’re talking about some of the significant schizoaffective, depression, bipolar, anxiety issues that are coming up, there are facilities that don’t have the infrastructure to support that.
Claire: Correct.
Gina Thorne: So it’s great that you all are available for the community. I always like to learn about the people, not just about your program, and so I threw in a question that I thought would be really interesting to ask. And I’m going to give Claire a couple minutes to think about it, but I know that Brittany’s probably thought about it already.
Brittany DeKoch: Oh, yeah.
Gina Thorne: What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months or in recent memory?
Brittany DeKoch: Mine’s a little bit of a shameless self-promotion. Since I’ve moved to Colorado, I’ve volunteered a week every summer with an organization based out of Golden called Big City Mountaineers. Big City Mountaineers partners with youth serving orgs in the Denver area, specifically kiddos that are at risk, underserved, very much live city life and don’t have an opportunity to get outside and go backpacking.
Brittany DeKoch: What we get to do is take kiddos out on their first ever backpacking expedition, which is really fun. I very strongly believe that the wilderness holds a transformative power. I think a lot of us that have moved to Colorado from other places, that’s a big indicator as to why we moved her, and so I like being able to share that with kids that would otherwise not have that opportunity.
Brittany DeKoch: This year I’ve decided to be part of a summit for Someone Program, which is a fundraising program through Big City Mountaineers. A team of seven other adults and myself will be attempting to summit Mount Baker in Washington in July.
Gina Thorne: Where is that? Where is it? Washington state?
Brittany DeKoch: Washington state.
Gina Thorne: Okay.
Brittany DeKoch: Yeah. It’s a glaciated volcano. It’s going to be really exciting.
Gina Thorne: Wow!
Brittany DeKoch: I’ve obviously paid an entry fee to secure my spot on that team and to start my fundraising process. And that is the purchase that I’ve made recently that really speaks to me.
Gina Thorne: That’s fantastic [crosstalk 00:06:46] and can you give a website for Big City Mountaineers?
Brittany DeKoch: Yeah. I believe it’s www.bigcitymountaineers.org. However, if you just went to Google and typed in Big City Mountaineers, it would pop up. If anyone feels compelled that’s listening to this wants to donate to the organization, feel free.
Gina Thorne: Great, especially for you.
Brittany DeKoch: It’s a nonprofit.
Gina Thorne: Yeah, especially … so they can support your climb up the mountain, Mount Baker.
Brittany DeKoch: Yeah, absolutely.
Gina Thorne: Is that 14,000 feet?
Brittany DeKoch: Not quite. It’s almost 11,000 feet.
Gina Thorne: 11,000, okay.
Brittany DeKoch: Yeah. But there will be snow travel.
Gina Thorne: Oh, my goodness. Well, that’s a great-
Brittany DeKoch: It’ll be exciting.
Gina Thorne: … a great investment. Great investment.
Brittany DeKoch: Thank you.
Gina Thorne: Amazing. Yeah. How about you, Claire? Did you have anything to add to that? Any purchase that you’ve made of $100 or less that might have-
Claire: I’ve tried to think if I’ve purchased anything since moving to Colorado.
Gina Thorne: That’s fair. That’s fair.
Claire: Yeah, I think the best purchase has probably been a tank of gas to get to explore Colorado.
Gina Thorne: Oh, I like that. Good. Yeah.
Claire: [crosstalk 00:07:47] probably more than 100 bucks, but, in the last six months, it’s to be able to explore the … come up to Estes Park, go to Boulder. I’m brand new to the state.
Gina Thorne: Yeah, that’s a great answer. Especially on the fly like that. Good job.
Brittany DeKoch: Yeah, way to go.
Gina Thorne: Yeah. So Brittany, playing off of the idea of the word harmony, what do you think it means to live a life in harmony?
Brittany DeKoch: I think that living a life in harmony is being congruent in your thoughts, but in as well as your actions. Making sure that who you are inside and being the best, most authentic version of yourself is also who are presenting to the world. And I think that a big component of that … it’s very easy to turn inward and be self-reflective and focus on our own personal growth, but I also read somewhere that you’re only good as the company you keep. Paying attention to who makes up your community. And so I think that if you’re surrounding yourself with good people, it’s easier to feel like you’re harmonious in your life.
Gina Thorne: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative). Great answer. Thank you for that. That’s great. And if someone wanted to access services of Highlands Behavioral Health, how could they get in touch with you?
Brittany DeKoch: They could actually call our intake line directly, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The phone number is 720-348-2805. And just by making that call, they’ll be connected to a clinician that can help facilitate the process from there.
Gina Thorne: Wonderful. Well, thank you both for taking the time to come up to Harmony. We’re really glad to have had you here. And we look forward to continued future partnerships with Highland Behavioral.
Brittany DeKoch: Likewise.
Claire: Thank you so much for having us.
Brittany DeKoch: Thank you.
Gina: Hi, everyone. Thank you for joining us for the Harmony Podcast Series and I’m pleased today to be joined with Cody Gardner and Jay Fullam with Redpoint Center in Longmont, Colorado. Welcome.
Cody: Thank you. Super glad to be here.
Jay: Thanks.
Gina: Good to have you here.
Gina: We’re gonna get into talking a little bit more about both of you individually, but before we do that, let’s talk a little bit about Redpoint. It’s an outpatient substance abuse program. Can you describe, Cody, for me what the program is about and what a person can expect when they come into your program?
Cody: Yeah. Thanks, Gina. I started looking at Longmont, Colorado a couple of years ago thinking that there are a lot of people statistically that would need substance abuse treatment services and the lack of resources there drove me to believe that an outpatient treatment center would be very well received by the community. So, what we have built is a clinically-driven outpatient center. We have both day programming, as well as evening programming, which means that people can come in after work, they can come in for the full day if they need more care and they would receive a minimum of 12 weeks of service.
Cody: Our curriculum is really, really really structured towards creating a safe place for people. We want people to come in, feel comfortable and be able to feel like they’re in a safe place where they can actually start to do the work to heal from addiction.
Cody: We also have a number of adjunctive services that we think foster long term recovery, so we have a medical doctor, we have case management, we have drug testing, we also have individual therapy and group therapy and our hope is that people can come from the community, access services that they can find a path for recovery that fits them. Our number one philosophy at the Redpoint Center is that we’re gonna take every single thing we do, we’re gonna look at it on a case by case basis and we’re gonna get somebody the help that they need. If at any time, we don’t believe that we can help somebody, we’re going to get them to the right person and if we do believe we can help them, we are gonna do exactly that.
Cody: So, we are flexible, we are working with people, we don’t have a set idea of what recovery has to look like, we just wanna help people access the services they need. And Longmont has been desperate for that for a long time, so we’re super grateful to be there.
Gina: That’s great. And you guys are fairly new.
Cody: We are. We started working on this in October. I’d been thinking about it for a couple of years, but we started working on it in October and we opened about three weeks ago. We have had a wonderful response from the community. That’s our first and foremost goal is to be a community resource, so we’ve been working with the hospitals and with the Longmont Angels initiative, which is an organization with the Police Department where people can access the resources for treatment to provide that town the resources they need. So yeah, we have many clients, all of our services are open and running and we’re super, super grateful for that.
Gina: That’s great. Just a couple more things. So, you guys take both men and women 18 and over?
Cody: That’s correct. We are 18 and over. We will be offering by mid-summer a adolescent IOP program, Intensive Outpatient, nine hours a week. We currently have adult men and women. Again, both day treatment as well as evening treatment. They can come in for a maximum of about 25 hours of services and our minimum is about nine.
Gina: OK. That’s great.
Gina: Well, it sounds very thorough and it’s great that you guys are opening up in the Longmont area. I’m sure your program will be open to more than just those that are living in Longmont, so if folks wanted to come in it around that area, they could do that.
Cody: Absolutely. And to finalize that, yeah we do intend to have some housing opportunities for people that do need the housing, so if they’re coming from outside the area, or if they’re willing to drive from the Denver/Boulder area somewhere, that would be accessible to them.
Gina: Wonderful. Well so, let’s talk a little bit about your respective backgrounds. And so, Jay, tell us a little bit about what got you into the field of addiction treatment.
Jay: Yeah. So, I think a lot of us, I was that kid who your friend’s parents warned you about. As a kid, I made a bunch of mistakes and I was wounded from a young age and didn’t really have any other ways to deal with pain and suffering and trauma other than what was most successful to me at the time, which was drugs and alcohol.
Jay: After blowing out of a bunch of schools and getting picked up by the police and put in the drunk tank numerous times at 19, I went to treatment and really had no idea that there was a life different than what I was doing, you know? And so, I was had access to really great treatment and ultimately, like any great treatment center, great people, and so I had some really great mentors and people who showed me another way to live my life.
Jay: We all have those people who we think back to and try to emulate and take strides in their shadow and my guy was guy named Andy Pace and there’s a place in northeastern Pennsylvania called Little Creek Lodge that was modeled pretty closely after Jaywalker. The scheme wasn’t as good, but other than that, it was really 12-step focused, mental health concentration and I really got to kinda identify some different outlets of spirituality and didn’t have to think for a little while and just took some suggestions.
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Jay: That’s what they said. Like, what’s the best kept secret in AA? It’s just do what you’re told, right?
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Jay: Cody and I have talked about this on numerous occasions. I was lucky enough to have people and friends and peers and a system set up that I could really thrive within that. And over time, I went to business school, I had other aspirations in media and in tech and when I was six months out of graduating my undergraduate at CU, which was one of the gifts that I got from my sobriety … I never thought I was gonna graduate high school, right? And I was in a job interview at a place called [inaudible 00:06:21] on the Front Range and they asked me what my dream job was. And I was like, “You know, I really would love to work with people in a mental health capacity.”
Gina: And you weren’t interviewing for that?
Jay: I was interviewing on a cold call sales position for a tech company and it more surprising to me, my answer, than what it even was to them.
Gina: Sure. Yeah.
Jay: So, I went home that night and connected with Danny Conroy from AIM House and he really did an awesome job of helping mentor me and giving me an opportunity just based on willingness and just the experience of going through treatment.
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Jay: So, I’m always in debt to AIM House and that crew. And Northstar, like they’re’ all … and since then, I’ve really continued to emulate people and just finished my Master’s degree from [inaudible 00:07:21] program and graduated in May.
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Jay: Really, you know, the evolution of thought and what we hold close is always changing, but I think really, as a clinician first and foremost, and a mentor, I try to bridge the gap between 12-step and mental health and trying to see where both cases are right and integrating them is really kind of what I feel my purpose in this is.
Jay: And that’s actually the short version of all that story-
Gina: That’s great.
Jay: I’ll let Cody speak a little bit on it ’cause he’s got a great story, but yeah.
Gina: Thanks for sharing that. That’s wonderful.
Cody: Thanks, Jay. I hadn’t heard some of that, so that was kinda cool.
Cody: So similarly, I found recover in 2006. I don’t know that I was actually looking for it, but some people intervened on me and similar to Jay, I ran into a guy who has stuck in my life as a mentor and somebody that’s very special to me and he took the time to show me there was a different way to live. And I can remember being early in that process and thinking for the first time really in my adult life that I actually wanted to help people, but I didn’t know what that meant, so I started working in group homes for autistic kids, kids with conduct disorder, kids with substance issues and I did that for a couple of years and by the stroke of luck, a friend of mine when I moved back to Colorado, said I ought to go and see the probation supervisor. He had a good friendship with the person that ran the Boulder Drug Court. Went out to lunch with her and Marcy Becker was able to give me an opportunity to work in the probation department.
Cody: They had a job opening sometime later and I applied and I got the job and started as a foot in the door job, $20,000 a year, no responsibility, my sole location was to take people with felony convictions who worked in drug court and 40 hours a week helped them find jobs, which is usually one of the most missing things in treatment, and I ended up becoming a Probation Officer. I was working in Drug Court in Denver for a number of years, I was the Lead Probation Officer there where we got to start real programming for trauma, for veterans, for young adults and I credit that with being a really informative period in forms of training. Recovery is great and it’s a big part of my life, but it is not a professional skill set. It’s a really nice story for me.
Cody: The professional skill set was something I had to train and learn. And Probation was able to give me that training and I spent about five years doing that. Learning motivational interviewing, cognitive behaviorals therapy, and they sent us out to tour treatment centers and understand where we were referring clients. It was just a wonderful experience most days.
Cody: And from there, I got sucked into the private treatment world, where I have been living for the last couple of years. I’ve helped start companies, I’ve done national marketing for what I would believe is one of the top 10 treatment programs in America, I’ve toured over 500 treatment centers since then, I’ve built friendships and relationships with people all over this country and I never don’t answer the phone when somebody calls needing help. So, I get a phone call probably once a month and they say, “I need an adolescent program in rural Montana.” And I say, “Well, I don’t think that exists.” And then, I actually think about it for a minute and I go, “Wait. I might know somebody.”
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Cody: So, I’ve been very fortunate to do a lot of different things. I’ve spent time with the back end of treatment programs learning how to do the administrative side, the human resources side, so I’ve been blessed to make a career out of this and Redpoint is really the fruition of about 10 years of working with and for other people and seeing what I thought worked and what I didn’t think worked and trying to create something that really allows us to help people.
Gina: That’s great. You guys are both taking your strength, [inaudible 00:11:30] and experience and really paying it forward, which is fantastic.
Gina: Well, let’s talk for a few minutes, Cody, about the MAT program. So, Redpoint’s gonna be offering MAT. Why do you think that’s important today as we work in treatment?
Cody: I think this is a really good question, a really difficult question. Our philosophy internally is … and I’ve already said this, but we are gonna do every single thing we do on a strictly case by case basis. And if we think it is going to help somebody, we’re gonna do it. The second big line that I like to use in our company is the best idea is gonna win. So, if our doctor believes that the best idea for a participant is to be on a medication-assisted therapy regimen, we’re gonna do that. I believe fundamentally in a basic idea of keeping people alive. I believe that medication-assisted therapies can do that. I don’t think it is a black and white issue. I have wishes for the pharmaceutical companies. I wish they would publish certain studies that I could see some more research about.
Cody: But, on a real brass tacks issue, I’ve spent a lot of time listening to people in public policy circles studying this issue and the reality is there is no definitive answer for everybody. If somebody is appropriate for an abstinence-based treatment process, we’re gonna foster that. If somebody is appropriate for a medication-assisted therapy process, we’re gonna foster that.
Cody: The one thing I will say fundamentally is that if anybody goes back, it’s hard to find that because it’s been taken down, but you can still find them on the internet … the initial clinical trials for much of these medications that are on the market today were always done … they were done in Europe in the late 80’s, early 90’s … and they were always done in conjunction with a minimum of nine months of behavioral therapy. So, our goal is to provide that wrap around service. Medications can assist us greatly and I fundamentally believe that. That being said, I still think there’s always gonna be a place for behavioral and emotional therapy.
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Gina: Good point. And we support that decision as well. And I think it’s one of those things where you can’t assume that recovery and treatment expectations are gonna be the same for everybody. You know, you have to be, like you said, responsive individually. So, thank you for that feedback. That’s great.
Gina: So, Jay. Playing off the idea of the word harmony. Briefly tell us what you think it means to live a life in harmony.
Jay: Hmm. I play guitar and I was actually thinking do I know the definition of harmony? And I don’t.
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Jay: But, I think piggy backing off what Cody was talking about, harmony, in my mind I associate it with being right or in sync, right? And I think that’s one idea of how to look at it, but it’s really, as it relates to the treatment industry and what we’re doing, is operating in that kinda gray area in a way that’s ethical and in a case by case basis, how can we best serve the people that come into our lives?
Jay: I think on a personal level, harmony is, from a really basic standpoint, is doing what I say I’m gonna do, you know?
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Jay: And being in alignment with my intentions and my actions. If you can, within an organization, and this was certainly my experience of working at Harmony, it’s people of a team in an organization. You can interview a thousand different treatment centers at any given standpoint and I think it’s different when you’re rating them. Week to week, even. Because systems are important, but at a base level, who are the people that you have and what’s the culture that’s set up and how are people in harmony walking forward in a way that’s together and people are able to ask for help and people are able to make mistakes, you know? Harmonies not about just like this perfect fit. It’s like how do we operate in a competent way with what we’re giving?
Gina: Great. Thank you so much for that.
Jay: Do you have any thoughts on that?
Cody: I think that’s wonderful.
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Cody: That’s a nice way of thinking of it.
Gina: So, if someone wanted to access services at Redpoint, how could they get in touch with you, Cody?
Cody: Absolutely go and check out our web site. It’s www.theredpointcenter.com. They can find the admissions line or the contact page, they can send us an email through there, they can call us through there, there would be somebody most 24 hours of the day other than I think the dead of the morning that will be answering a call and we would schedule some time to really dive in and talk and find out what that person needs and try and help them.
Gina: Sounds great.
Gina: Well, thank you both for taking the time to come up.
Cody: Can I say one last thing?
Gina: Yes.
Cody: Thank you for having us.
Jay: Yeah, thanks Gina.
Cody: Harmony is a wonderfully transformed … I mean, Harmony has been here for 49 years.
Gina: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Cody: In the community. Helping Colorado. And today was a lovely, lovely experience. You guys have a highly trained staff. Clearly, clearly one of the top treatment centers in the state and we are deeply, deeply indebted to that.
Gina: Well, thank you and I will share that message with others and we look forward to working with you all and seeing the great things that you’re gonna be doing in the community. So, thanks for your time up in Harmony today.
Jay: Thanks, Gina.
Cody: Thanks, Gina.
“I don’t want to be here. I’m not going to say anything. I don’t know. Why should I talk to you?” You may find yourself thinking or saying thoughts like these in response to pressures to engage from a program, family, or friends. Perhaps you aren’t ready to share what’s brought you here, or what the challenges are that you are facing in this moment. Perhaps you feel like your personal freedom has been taken away, your choice to participate of your own free will. Understanding that you may feel angry, resentful, or withdrawn, please consider the following in support of getting the most out of something that is identified as mandatory.
Blocking or Belonging
You may come from a different background or hold different values from those you come into contact with, so what brings people together in this process? Shared experience around homelessness, financial instability, substance abuse, conflict in relationships, or a lack support can help one feel less isolated and alone in their experience. Although each person’s story is their own, the feeling of connection to others and belonging can go a long way in having an experience feel less mandatory and more voluntary. When you observe others engaging in the program or group, you may find yourself asking:
For many involved in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), they speak of the community as an equally powerful element as the 12 Steps in to their ability to actively participate in their own sobriety. Due to the friendships they make, they feel they have a connection to others in ways that feel encouraging and uplifting in moments of challenge or struggle.
Building Perspective
In addition to identifying a supportive community, how you approach the experience for yourself matters. Do you have realistic expectations of what you can accomplish both short and long term? Can you set yourself up for success in your work with others? When starting this process, it is helpful to understand basic needs as the foundation for progress. Educating yourself on how basic needs such as food, safety, and shelter provide the foundation of stability gives you permission to organize goals for success. Abraham Maslow, who identified this relationship in the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs, emphasizes that only when basic needs are met can one focus on higher work around self-esteem, sobriety, and relationships.
Relational Rapport
When exploring relationships, research tells us that therapeutic rapport accounts for more than any other factor when measuring progress towards goals set in therapy. In other words, the therapeutic relationship, unconditional positive regard, and power of feeling seen, heard, understood, and supported has positive results on goal progression. If your past experience involves trust or mistrust, being aware of how therapy and/or relationships have helped or hindered you in the past can put current resistance and reluctance in perspective. A few questions that you may find helpful at ask at the first meeting with a helping professional include:
All of these questions encourage healthy discussion around the therapeutic process and can provide insight into expectations and measurable goals when engaging a helping professionalin your own growth process.
Mandatory can feel restrictive and stressful when viewed as a loss of control or freedom. What better way to reframe it than to ask yourself, what can make it worthwhile?
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Dr. Wayne Dyer
Khara Croswaite Brindle, MA, LPC, ACS, is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the Lowry Neighborhood of Denver, Colorado. She received her Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology from the University of Denver with a focus on community based mental health. Khara has experience working with at-risk youth and families, including collaboration with detention, probation, and the Department of Human Services. Khara enjoys working with young adults experiencing anxiety, depression, trauma, relational conflict, self-esteem challenges, and life transitions.
I was 29 years old when I went to treatment. It was a nudge from a Judge that drove me to my first introduction to Harmony Foundation when I called asking for help. At that time I couldn’t imagine my life without alcohol, but I did know that I didn’t want to be miserable anymore. Alcohol may have taken away the bad feelings, but it certainly did not take away the misery, it was an unwanted houseguest that had moved in and was planning to stay.
I will never forget that first call. I was scared, uncertain and feeling hopeless. Sharon, a former Union Boilermaker, originally from Pittsburgh, was my lifeline to my new life in recovery. Sharon was kind and understanding, she eliminated barriers, was honest, and insightful. I had tried different feeble attempts of getting sober that all involved managing and moderation. When it was all said and done, Sharon was quick to point out that everything I tried wasn’t working and said, “Try this!” She added that I was allowed to try things once in my life and never have to try them again if I didn’t like it. So, I tried, came to Harmony and by the grace of my God of my understanding, I haven’t found it necessary to pick up a drink or a drug since that phone call.
Whether you’re a friend, family member or just desperately in despair looking for help, making that first call can be overwhelming. Many people perceive addiction treatment likened to Jack Nicholson in “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” In truth, most addiction treatment is not straightjackets, lockdown facilities and Nurse Ratchet’s.
In fact, good addiction treatment and working with someone in admissions is built on compassion, empathy, strength and guidance. As a person in recovery who went through the admissions process, I can say that the first call makes all the difference.
What can you expect when calling for help? First and foremost you should expect to be treated with dignity and respect. Someone who is willing to answer every question you have. You should expect to be valued enough as an individual that your questions will be answered honestly even if the Admission Staff knows the truthful answer may not be what you want to hear. Remember, you are making a call to save your life not giving someone on the other end an opportunity to close a deal. Insurance does not pay for flights, waving of fees and deductible only means that the revenue has to be made up from somewhere or someone else, that someone else could be you. If services provided and allowable items are different on the phone than the programs website, you have a right and self-responsibility to ask why the difference without being challenged. One of the most critical elements to a successful treatment experience is honesty. This critical element will be missing if the admission process revolves around any kind of dishonesty. You should also expect to work with an organization that will inform you if they cannot meet your needs and they will provide you with direction to programs they have a collaborative relationship with to best meet your needs.
Today, I am an Admissions Manager and since my first and only admission all those years ago, I have been given the good fortune to not just experience the admission process once, or twice, or even 100 times but thousands of times. I remind myself on every call how I was treated on that first call with Sharon, and I am committed daily to respond the way she did. People calling, no matter what the motivator, just want to be heard without judgment and respected. Admissions staff is the first impression of the organization they establish the trust necessary for the individual to begin a process of a willingness to change. Being dishonest, pushy and unclear about expectations sets everyone up for failure.
Each time I work with an individual or family, it is a privilege to be the resource that helps them begin their new journey of sobriety. No two admissions are the same. I honor and respect the clients allowing them to experience their own journey with the admissions process the same as I was.
So as you consider treatment and you inquire about what program is the best fit for you. Remember that that person on the other line may have the one thing you need to help you begin again. One thing I can say that is true for me, every time I try anything that involves the admission process, I learn from it, I grow from it, and most of all I love it.
Gina Thorne: Hi everyone, welcome to the Harmony Foundation podcast series and I’m pleased today to be joined with Eva Malanowski, a clinical psychologist with the Amate Institute in Boulder. Welcome.
Dr. Malanowski: Thank you so much and I’m happy to be here, Gina.
Gina Thorne: We are too. We’re really interested in hearing more about the Amate Institute, but before we do that let’s talk a little bit about your background and why and how did you get into the field and doing what you do.
Dr. Malanowski: Okay, sure, I’d be glad to do that. I’m a clinical psychologist, I have over 18 years of experience, much of it has been in helping people recover from trauma. I grew up in Boulder, Colorado, and growing up here I saw so much substance abuse going on. I remember going to a party for a friend of mine to go to rehab, it was a going away to rehab party and we were both at the age of 13, and of course it was a drinking party.
Gina Thorne: That’s interesting, I haven’t heard of one of those. I guess that’s Boulder.
Dr. Malanowski: I know, it’s Boulder. So I have seen alcohol so often used by people suffering from unresolved trauma, unresolved abuse that happened, or traumatic events that they went through, PTSD, war situations, I’ve worked with a lot of veterans. I just knew that this needed to be part of my work, I needed to address this because it’s such a prevalent issue. A lot of the work I’ve done is inpatient work in inpatient hospitals, PTSD units.
Dr. Malanowski: I did work as the Director of the Aspen Counseling Center and I oversaw the IOP program there. I’ve also worked in the prison system where I worked with a lot of men who had sexual and pornography addictions, and they would often use alcohol to deal with the shame and guilt that they felt from what they were doing and why they were there. I have a lot of experience working with both trauma as well as co-occurring mental illness and co-occurring substance abuse.
Gina Thorne: It’s interesting because it sounds like you’ve really covered the full spectrum in working with all populations. It sounds to me like this issue of trauma is not unique to one unique population that it really does go hand in hand for just about anybody that’s struggling with addiction.
Dr. Malanowski: Yes. I would say that’s true. I think 60% of adults at least have had some kind of significant trauma in their life that they’re dealing with. It’s not just having a trauma, it’s what kind of support a person had when they went through the traumatic event. So for one person, and they may have had a very supportive adult in their life that provided them with that love and security that they needed to get through the trauma, somebody else may not have had that. It really depends on not just what happened but the surrounding support that the person had.
Gina Thorne: And the coping skills that they may have whether it’s very small or quite big really does have an impact on how they respond.
Dr. Malanowski: Yes, very true.
Gina Thorne: You launched the Amate Institute Boulder and this was born from the work with Susan Horton.
Dr. Malanowski: Correct, yes.
Gina Thorne: I know you and I spoke about Susan Horton at one point. Trained in, they call the Amate Growth model. Can you describe for listeners what this means as it relates to emotional maturity?
Dr. Malanowski: Yes, I’d be happy to. The Amate Growth Work method is based on the idea that we get stuck in our emotional development due to traumatic situations. Again, where we didn’t have that love and security we needed, some kind of supportive environment to get through that trauma. What happens is the person stops feeling safe enough to go out there and continue to take the risks that are necessary for them to continue to grow, and they kind of retreat.
Dr. Malanowski: If you imagine like a snail in a shell, like they start building a shell around themselves and they retreat into that shell and start basically hiding from the world. So when they’re not going out there and taking those emotional risks, they are no longer growing. Depending on at what point that trauma happened, the stoppage happened, that would be the emotional maturity age that they would be stuck at. That might be the age of six or it might be the age of 13, and then that person continues to try to navigate their life.
Dr. Malanowski: They’re continuing to grow up mentally and physically, but they’re trying to navigate their life from the perspective of an emotional six-year-old or an emotional 13-year-old, and you can see how that doesn’t work so well. As they continue to grow, because they experienced more trauma and more hurt, their shell continues to grow and get harder and harder. The emotional dysfunction comes more apparent the older they get. It might be cute and funny at the age of 20, at the age of 40 it’s-
Gina Thorne: Not so much.
Dr. Malanowski: … not so much.
Gina Thorne: How does that play a part in what you do with treatment or with therapy with folks around Amate? You’ve created sort of this understanding that you’ve got this almost arrested emotional development that happens due to some sort of trauma-based experience. What’s the work that you do to kind of help move them to that level of emotional maturity?
Dr. Malanowski: The process of Amate Growth Work is a three phase program. In the first phase that’s really that part where we helped the emotional self grow up, and it’s a process called inner work where we really get through the subconscious blocks and go to the depth of the, the inner … Can I start over? Sorry.
Gina Thorne: Yes. When you’re talking about the process of your Amate work with clients that have had this sort of arrested development emotionally, what is it that you’re doing with clients to help them move past that?
Dr. Malanowski: In the first phase of Amate Growth Work we’re doing a process called Inner Work. Inner Work is the process of actually helping that inner self, an inner child grow up and it’s a very systematic process, so step-by-step we helped the inner child be able to reconnect. We reconnect with the inner child and we rework those traumatic situations as they come up, so the person actually naturally has the ability to heal themselves.
Dr. Malanowski: I’m more of a catalyst for the work so I’m not doing the work for them. I’m a facilitator, and a catalyst and I help them along with it. We stop phase one of the work when the person actually becomes emotionally the same age as they are biologically. That’s the end of phase one and then we move into the phase two where they’re trying out now their grown up self to go out and take those emotional risks that they really didn’t do before because they had been stuck and they had been living in that shell.
Dr. Malanowski: Now they’re going out into the world trying things out while they continue to have the support of myself in figuring out how to navigate these now adult situations that they hadn’t learned before.
Gina Thorne: It sounds very appropriate that you create this sort of one and two process because once they get to that point where they’re now emotionally at their biological age, it can be scary. I can imagine having them now move into the world at this age that they haven’t really lived out for such a long time.
Dr. Malanowski: Exactly, really that’s just the beginning. Once they’re out there the work really never ends. Then we do have the third phase which is the aftercare, so this is after they’ve gone through some experiences and actually have reached some challenges where they even reach a state of emotional overwhelm, and I teach them a process of complete surrender. They’re also learning how to connect with their inner guidance, so it’s a very spiritually based approach.
Gina Thorne: That’s one thing about you that I’ve really come to enjoy is that you’ve got a very deep sense of spirituality that you incorporate into your practice which is great. I’m gonna skip around a little bit but playing off the idea of the word harmony. What do you think it means to live a life in harmony?
Dr. Malanowski: To me, harmony is about balance, and it’s really living a life of balance and peace. I think that happens when you reach emotional maturity, and you’re really listening to that inner guidance that I mentioned. No matter how challenging what the inner guidance leads you to do, you are able to step into that and do it. I think living a life of harmony is also about being in harmony with others around you and your world, and so it’s not just for yourself, but when you’re living an emotionally mature life, you’re thinking about others and you’re thinking about what is my purpose here, and how am I impacting this planet?
Dr. Malanowski: This is what I love about harmony, your center here it’s just in such a beautiful place. I always think of harmony as also harmony with nature, and this place just has such good energy and a wonderful connection to nature. I think when you come up here you just get this wonderful sense of clarity, and the clouds kind of move away and you really start to see, okay, what is my purpose here? Why am I here? What am I really meant to do with my life?
Gina Thorne: Thank you for that, that’s a great response. If someone were listening today and they wanted to access services at the Amate Boulder Institute, how could they get in touch with you?
Dr. Malanowski: They can call me directly at 303-242-7824 and I’d be happy to set up a free consultation with them either by phone or in person.
Gina Thorne: Well, thank you Eva for taking the time to visit us today, it was good to talk with you.
Dr. Malanowski: Thank you so much and I’m happy to be here.
Visit www.amateinstitute.com for more information.